Mobile Menaces Hang Up On Miss Manners
Newcastle Herald
Tuesday October 9, 2007
ARE mobile phones bad for your health?
They are if I throw one at you.At last count, there were 19 million of the things in this country. And 18,999,999 went off at the movies last time I was there.Given the number of helplines available, you'd think one would be dedicated to decorum.Instead, the air is alive with 19 million electrical signals all saying basically the same thing: "I'm in row 16, near the deli."Mobile phones have only been around for 25 years.And, given they allegedly give off enough microwaves to warm up your dinner, some people are concerned about the effect they have on your body.I'd have to say, having a look around, undeniably, they make users look under 20. Do they threaten children's safety?Well, the safety of my children is threatened if they use my mobile. Daddy's mobile belongs to DADDY!!Do they cause headaches?You only have to check the mobile bill to know they do.Do they cause cancer? Well, I'm prepared to go out on a limb and say: "What doesn't these days?"Vague test results, glibly exaggerated to make a point, suggest you can jam the frequency of a commercial radio station with them. That's a good thing. But do they fry your brain?Looking at the course of human history, I'd argue our brains were fried long before the mobile arrived. Mobiles have just allowed us to advertise the fact.In the old days, if you had an uncontrollable urge to tell someone where you were, you'd have to wait till you met someone.And when you did, it would be obvious where you were, so you'd have to talk about something else.Hence the art of conversation flourished. Mercifully, no one else had to listen, though.Nowadays, as soon as the impulse to blurt out where you are arrives, you jump on the moby and off you go.Unfortunately, everyone else nearby has to listen.First the ringtone. An AFL team song, the theme from Match of the Day, some pan flute cover of Smoke on the Water.What was wrong with "Brrrriii g, Brrrriii g"?And then the inane chat."Hey, I'm at the movies.""Fair dinkum, I'm in the car." "Incredible, I'm eating popcorn." "Wow, I'm parking the car." "Amazing. Where you going?" "Don't know, I'm at the movies.""Fair dinkum, I'm in the car." And round it goes. They say there's no compelling evidence mobiles make you sick. Try listening to that. Experts suggest the best way to reduce your exposure to harmful phone rays is to keep the talk short. Much to the relief of telco CEOs throughout the country, the exact opposite is occurring. Talk has mutated. One idea, recycled endlessly for hours at a time at 50 cents per 30 seconds, with a hefty flag fee.They say they're handy, and, like I said, I wish I had one to hand: I'd throw it at someone.swalker@theherald.com.au
© 2007 Newcastle Herald
